yes.
indeed.
_____ loves company.
(yup, any way you guys want to fill that in is up to you really. s'all the same to me)
thats the one thing that, through and through, i have found to be certain.
i hear you guys screaming, "but Jou, SURELY that cannot be the 'be all and end all'~!! there's far too much diversity, and everyone's different!!!11!"
keep your panties on, Jou understands that,
all im saying right now is that generally,
GENERALLY people, thats the key word,
Birds of a feather flock together,
and ___ loves company.
Not that im targeting anything in particular, its just something that i've been noticing more and more recently.
that's really all i had to say.
i think i'll paint tomorrow.
maybe i'll postpics.
Ciao lovelies~!!
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Examine this dissection doctor
do you detect a disease?
love is the cause,
death is the cure.
don't wake her from this dream...
don't waste your time smiling sweetly at me
when you twist the ropes
around my neck, i wont cry.
a noose could never replace
your laughter, your lips
if words could kill
then i wrote this for you.
your skin looks like it never bleeds
but i will make sure you see
something spilling from your soul
fill up this labeled jar
with your name painted on it
with the blood we sacrificed
as you look one more time in my eyes
I'll mix it up, add in some tears
once we fill it with love from your veins
we'll just paint the walls this color
so they can stain our memories
paint it red
paint it red.
hold me close
till were dead
till were dead.
You don't care how much pain
i don't care if it hurts
when we finally have enough
we'll cover and divide the land
they will never forget
we were here.
we were here.
because love broke us together
we hate we kill we love.
who is the captive?
who is the killer?
chop you to perfect pieces
you've never looked better
the tables are all red
cut up parts littering the floor
I'll put your heart in a box
for another poor maiden to find
to let all your evils out
curiosity killed the child
Pandora will regret this later.
paint it red
paint it red.
hold me close
till were dead
till were dead.
is our love tainted?
no, its painted
a mask so beautiful
a mask so fine
you could never tell
you were ever gone
because when i wear it
people will never see
that you've changed
its me.
its really me.
a noose could never replace
your laughter, your lips
if words could kill
then i wrote this for you.
and I'll shed you from your skin
and wear it as a soft coat
you don't need it now anyways.
organs and lungs no longer need air
finally now, i can use it to breathe
hands and fingers have nothing left to hold
don't try to run anymore, you have no legs
everything you once loved, now gone.
but you wont miss it, you'll miss me
because i loved you when you forgot me
now you'll just have to pay
I'm only giving you what you deserve
its only fair, to feel the pain
of what you've done to me.
paint it red
paint it red.
hold me close
till were dead
till were dead.
but your eyes...your eyes I'll keep.
I'll paste them on my mirror
so i can see you in my reflection.
your hair so soft, I'll make a pillow
so i can cuddle it when i miss you.
a noose could never replace
your laughter, your lips
if words could kill
then i wrote this for you.
tainted love, painted heart
now i use you as my canvass
your blood as my paints
everything in red.
I write my name all over
on the walls, on your body
so you remember for eternity.
look whats happened just because you didn't choose to love me.
tainted or painted?
i don't know
the stains will never wash away
the times when i said i loved you
you only looked away, looked away.
the crime scene won't know what to do
when they see the floor covered in red
limbs thrown everywhere in the house
and a knife stuck in an artist's heart
as she lies in the portrait of love she made
newly fresh and ready for the vultures
but there are still tears on her [my] face.
and lastly I hammer on a broken limb
written in red a letter with tear drops
in blood it says "i thought i loved him"
I'm the tainted artist with work to do
if a poem could kill then this one is for you...
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Every word escapes from two small headphones
soothing my soul with divine love so unforgettable.
My yearning heart dips into a pool of butterflies,
tingling me eternally, as continuous songs sing various melodies
so sweet, screaming your name as I listen close.
Thoughts of you evolve into lasting desires.
Soaking in every beautiful lyric full of passion,
each engraved into this soul that longs your touch.
Time elapses as songs continue to flow delicately,
uniquely shouting your name through my ears.
These emotions are impossible to dissolve in this water
full of heart-shaped monarchs that scream your name.
inspiration: headphones.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
The velvet night sky my perpetual partner
cradles lively eyes in its vast tender hands
millions of stars prance across and scatter
making this ebony beauty look so grand
Waves of dreams flock into a weary mind
slumber's voice lures me to its realm slowly
I break away from reality's grip and unwind
a soft mist whirls and consumes me gently
Wordless hymn sings, a promise of joy fills
senses lie naked as peace smilingly caresses
no threat in sight or lurking to make its kill
not even thunder can scare or cause distress
Conflict or gloom cannot swallow this moment
for everything is charmed by night's silent tune
from all worldly knowledge total abandonment
as I snuggle to bed on the beaming crescent moon
Just a little something i came up with awhile ago.
I was actually trying to come up with a post, so i had the window open..
and suddenly, this lil gem just hit me..
and like every other writer/poet..
we know not to let these things escape us.
so.. yesh.
enjoy.
happy almost Chinese New Year everyone...
andand.. does you likes me new piccy?
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Smell the uprising spirits, taste their freedom song
Hear the scripture spoken, see the rainbow all along.
Unyielding focus peels away the mental haze
Stripping the unreal to reveal restricted ways
Conformity of society suffocates the so called free
Incarcerating the innocent when they're unable to see.
In the depths lie hidden pools of optimistic hope
Rich blood clinging to threads of humanised rope
Releasing a fresh, rejuvenating winds of change
Lying in wait to spring at the machines throat
Tearing at the circuitry, programmed to rearrange
A race of vivid reality, stifled by dictated votes
Smell the uprising spirits, taste their freedom song
Hear the scripture spoken, see the rainbow all along.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
HELLO EVERYONE.
THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
JOU WILL BE ASLEEP FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS.
JOU WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY MESSAGES OR CALLS UNLESS YOU ARE JOEY, NICOLE OR ZARYL.
THE REST OF YOU, DONT YOU FUCKING DARE BOTHER ME.
GO SOLVE YOUR OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS FOR ONCE.
IM TIRED.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
It always seems like the same old song and dance when im through.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Hello again world.
Im up at this odd hour, and all day i've been just praying for sleep.
God, im tired.
Utterly Pooped.
Extremely exhausted.
Completely fucked over.
whatever you want to call it.
I've been very tired lately (especially the last few days)
sometimes i feel like im on the verge of just collapsing on the street and not waking up for the next few days.
yes, im really really exhausted.
and for so many reasons.
but not any to go into at the moment.
Just know that exhaustion breeds irritation, depression and anger in me,
and irritation, depression and anger result in exhaustion.
a scary little cycle no?
I almost didnt want to wake up today.
I knew i wouldn't get anything worth doing done,
which made me feel more like shit than ever.
and true enough, i haven't gotten anything done.
sometimes i feel like such a failure.
most of the time i feel like such a failure.
and then i tell myself to suck it up.
just like everything else in life.
i'll probably sleep most of tomorrow away,
in hopes that it'll remedy this bout that im having.
Very very tired.
im not depressed or anything.
i dont really feel anything at the moment,
im like one of those stone gargoyles,
unflinching cold stone,
with a gaze fixed on watching the world go by;
yet unable to move a muscle, to say a word.
the world goes by.
time goes by.
and me, watching it all leave me in the dust.
part of me wants to do something about it.
to shout and let my voice ring out into the world,
an affirmation that i am indeed still part of it all.
a tiny speck, but one that has a place none the less.
yet, the other part wants nothing but the remain silent and let it all pass.
Either way, i will watch as the world goes about its day,
completing tasks and accomplishing something with time and effort.
While i cant help but envy them.
Pity them.
Loathe them.
but ultimately,
Loathe what i have been reduced to.
I barely do anything of significance anymore.
Neither art nor writing, aside from the scraps that i barely manage.
they are all of such low standards, and with the knowledge that i have the potential to do so much better,
i cannot possibly find a way to be pleased with them.
Not studying like i promised myself i would.
Im falling so far behind.
All i ever seem to be doing is either curled up reading a book that i've read thousands of times before.
not quite reading, but leafing through the words that have been ingrained and imprinted on my brain.
another source of repetition.
Or... mindlessly tv surfing.
oh, so many repeats, other forms of repetition, that i can mouth the words in time with the telly.
that very soon, skimming through the weekly guides day by day,
every day starts to look like the day before.
Rinse and repeat with regards to the Internet or any other mindless activity i try to fill my day with.
Or being angry.
At things.
At the world.
At Situations.
But mostly,
At myself.
Oh, im so tired.
As many would say, "it's just one of THOSE weeks".
Quite simply put, im (questionably) comfortably numb.
Jou is looking for:
- new projects to take on
( i currently have: BACKart i owe some people, clothing/accessory making,designing and customising. working on a novel and an illustrated series. thinking of scrap booking. baking. photography. script writing)
- SONGS.
really, EITHER anything soothing, with great guitar/vocals, mellow. OR loud, fast and hard. but meaningful either way.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Sleep,
Sleep the day away.
Wake up,
Wake up like nothing's changed.
Night falls,
Night falls and it feels like day.
Sleep,
Sleep the day away.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Canvas of
memories
fade as paint
ages
Heart always wears
fresh coat
of paint
A Septolet is a poem consisting of seven lines containing fourteen words with a break in between the two parts. Both parts deal with the same thought and create a picture.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
ATTENTION WORLD: THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT WITH REGARDS TO THE RESULTS. you know which ones.
FUCK IT.
Fuck the mindless system and having to stuff facts down your throat and throw it up on cue.
You tried your best.
you tried your hardest.
SO WHAT if some fuck behind a desk cant see that?
Is he worth your self-loathing and depression?
I DONT FUCKING THINK SO.
Dear World,
Closest friends and people that i dont know who read this out of random boredom:
ONLY IF YOU LET IT GET YOU DOWN, WILL YOU TRUELY HAVE FAILED.
They dont know you.
They dont know the system.
They dont know the effort, blood, sweat and tears you put in.
DONT LET THEM GET TO YOU.
LIFE IS FULL OF OPTIONS.
IT IS NOT A DEAD END.
NOTHING'S EVER THAT FINAL.
YOU'RE ALL BRILLIANT IN YOUR OWN WAYS.
Just Tell Them, With A Smile And A Certain Sense Of Cocky-Arrogance,
"FUCK IT, YOU SNOBBY CUNTS. IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE. SOMETHING THAT I WANT FOR MYSELF. SOMETING MEANINGFUL. BECAUSE I CAN AND BECAUSE I WILL"
That is all.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Yet again, i crawled into bed at sunrise this morning.
yet again, that all too familiar, fowl feeling crept toward me as i lay in bed.
staring that the dwindling darkness, the walls of the room slowly lit by the slight ray of light peeking through an almost fully closed curtains.
t'was a busy morning, the sounds of the world awaking, people bustling about.
the calls and messages didn't cease either, and i was left with a very fragmented attempt at proper rest.
however, in the moments i was allowed some relief from the harsh world, with closed eyes and a heavy mind, i drifted off into a deep slumber.
A dream, haunting my mind almost from birth plagued me once again.
Rooms in a vast building spiders covering the walls and floors, shifting like static.
Then always abruptly, the room is filled with people, all familiar faces that i know.
my parents, brother, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, teachers; everyone who has been in my life.
And im lying there, broken and unable to even move a muscle or make a sound.
I must have done something, but i cant explain as they stand over me in mute accusation.
I just cant being myself to explain what has happened there, i try to, and i want so desperately to, but i cant explain that i was trying to do a noble thing,
that my guilt is not simple,
that this is something you grow into, not out of,
that there is no way out for me,
that anyway,
perhaps there is a chance that it is for the best.
and that to fall, to fall is what?
to fall is better than to stand still.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
yup, this is one of my "staple songs" for the moment.
its a really mellow, kinda depressing song. meaningful, and if you noticed, its about Vincent Van Gogh. (he's one of mah faves)
of course, my musical taste has been taking quite an odd ride lately.
going back to oldies like the above, and Toto's Africa.
Boyband stuff... anything ranging from Westlife to Busted and all that shite.
and oldschool.. rock?
expanding into other metal and emo stuff..
and dipping my feet in uncertain waters (ie. suckfest music like Secondhand Serenade. and If I Were A Boy. Light On.. Dear God, Afterlife. etc.)
Im still in love with Thunder.
Eh...
to avoid further ________ (fill in the blank) i shall stop there.
Does anyone else wanna catch the Tattoo Fest thingy?
I wants to go look at the art and stuff...
andand..
MOVIES.
OMG.
so many that Im eyeing.
...
that japanese fish one, and Ip man, Yes man (is that still on??), The Dutchess, and.. im really really looking forward to the release of Burton's new movie...
oh.. whats the world been up to?
I've been hiding away in a library mostly.
studying.
working my ass off more than i ever have in my entire life.
(if you read my kindanew "about me" sidepannel)
*i might not be taking up my art course. that bit, im really pissed at. and weeping for.*
oh well... urgh. is anyone else feeling to financial pinch?
it really sucks.
eh...
Moolah.
cash.
paper stacks.
dough.
cha-ching.
whatever you call it..
i need it.
lots of it.
so...if anyone would be so kind as to leave me your accounts and pin numbers~!!
LOL
my art is dead.
my writing's dead.
everything's dead.
i feel so... unsatisfied and useless.
urgh.
Que general discontent with myself.
also.. fuck, anyone know why the goddamned Wiccan store is closed all the fucking time?
i need some shite from there.
urgently.
seriously.
people..it feels like we are all growing apart day by day.
and not slowly either.
its all happening so quickly.
coming and going again and again,
like bipolar moodswings.
oh, and the dreams i've been having lately.
not so great.
they keep me up at night as i lay sleep.
&&the stupidity of people these days.
the state of society and its people..
nothing short of pitiful.
sometimes you dont know whether to laugh or to cry.
but at the very least, it makes me cringe.
life has a strict use and abuse policy because some stupid fucks think its ok to treat fellow humans, especially those who care and only want the best for them, lower than dog shit.
im just being random.
my mind's in a chaotic mess right now.
i dont feel a particular way.
im just.. very very random.
goodnight world.
** lolololololol i am OKOKOKOKOK really.
just slightly insane and all.
just another day as meh, myself and i.
LOLOLOL
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Love profound (*Palindrome)
Love
Shining peacefully
Reigning gracefully
Paths combined harmoniously
Absolute commitment
Supreme bliss
Divine emotions
Everlasting happiness
*Reflect*
Happiness everlasting
Emotions divine
Bliss supreme
Commitment absolute
Harmoniously combined paths
Gracefully reigning
Peacefully shining
Love
*A palindrome is a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that can be read the same way in either direction (the adjustment of punctuation and spaces between words is generally permitted).
Its almost 4:30 am, and sudden inspiration struck.
nah, i wish i was that brilliant.
I was tossing words around in my mind and came up with this.
@My Fave Special Lil Toy..ENJOY: cos i know you're gonna see this sooner or later~
*
my pb wont work properly... 
...No, this isn't my sentimental mushy hour.
Just putting up a lil something to remind you that even at this hour (while im busy trying to sleep and not be hungry and ignore the creepyshite
) you're still on mah mind, like you've always been and always will be. 
...mention this to anyone and i'll kill you 
goodnight world, i have said more than my fair share.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Call the Doctor.
He cant help.
Call My Shrink.
Give Me Pills.
Find me someone who can actually solve the problem.
Call a suicide hotline.
Give me someone who actually gives a shit.
Call my friends.
Give them another thing to worry about.
Take a blade to my wrist.
It Doesnt do anything.
Swallow Everything i can find.
It makes no difference.
BROKENBROKENBROKEN.
A look of Cluelessness upon my face; eyelashes wet with tears.
Worry falls upon this beaten heart,Squeezing it till it shatters to pieces.
Choke Down All The Emotions.
Swallow Down Words That Have Lost All Meaning.
Heart Beating On Overdrive.
Mindless Dispair.
Try To Keep It Together.
When Did Life Go Astray?
Dont you see that im trying to be good enough?
That its not all excuses because im lazy?
Dont you see that you're the one who's messing us up?
Youre the one that's making this all bad for all of us?
Dont you love me anymore?
im not useless.
im not making excuses.
im not lazy.
im not trying to make things bad for you.
im not any of the things you make me out to be.
im sorry.
Im just a kid.
Love me.
Please.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Im Come to terms with the fact that, indeed, I:
- Cooperated (more or less)
- Let You Have My Voice (for most part of my life)
- Faded into the background
- Played the test-tube baby in this.
- Played the Adjusted Child.
- Had to grow up overnight and take on an adult role.
..Basically, I Rolled Over, Grinned and Bore it.
But when you try to take away the things that i believe in and the things that make my life worth living; when you try to shape me into something you want, when you take away my dreams and freedom... When you back me into a corner, i can't just sit back and take it.
Sorry Mom.
Sorry World.
i cant be these things anymore.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Sudden realisation has finally dawned upon my Deluded, Illusion-Filled Mind.
Once Overflowing With Frivolous Thoughts, Now, A Sad, Empty Shell Of What Once Was.
Naturally, Being The Lil Drama Queen I Am, I Have Led You To Think Its Something Bigger That Which Presents A Problem, Namely:
Art Stuff For All The New Projects Im Taking On (All At Once, Yes. I Like To Fill My Days Like That) ... COSTS LOTS&LOTS&LOTS&LOTS&LOTS&LOTS&LOTS&LOTS OF MOOLAH.
...
...
My Realisation:
Its EXPENSIVE To Be A STARVING ARTIST.
DAAYYUMM.
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Just a short one this time..
its now 6:33 on the first day of the new year.
(in singapore at least)
i should be sleeping.
i has a guest here.
and i want to do something later.
so i should be sleeping.
but im not exactly tired..
im talking with a darling aunt of mine and keeping lexy company till its new years' on his end.
sigh.
Goodbye 2008.
Its been an INSANEintenseAWESOMEfreaky
RANDOMtoughFUNNY year.
lots of blood, sweat and tears.
Gain and loss.
Friends coming and going,
People changing and growing.
so many memories both great and small, good and bad.
but...
Its going to be a great new year ahead isnt it?!
EVERYONE!!
Let's make it the best year of our lives so far!!
I need to put more piccys and blinkies up.. but im soooo lazy
CIAO LOVELIES~!!
♥ Explains Now...[Clearly]
Not like the other girls
Is she doing OK?
Maybe We're Trying Too Hard
This Drama Filled Fest Is All My Fault I Guess
Cut My Wirsts And Black My Eyes
My Life On [Standby]
Scene Missing..Fade To Black
can she stay strong? can she go on?
by The JavaScript Source