im lying here in bed asking myself: is it (a)you hate me?

or (b)you just dont want to see me rested and peaceful?

because really, the past few days have been shitstorm after shitstorm and i haven't gotten any peace since.. idk, let's say...at least a month ago.

firstly, im sick as fuck and i feel like i just got hit by 3 trucks.

secondly, im cramping up so bad i cant even gt out of bed properly without feeling stabbing pain.

coupled with a full body ache.

and really, in times like this, people either choose to ignore me or to bother me with trivial things.

this is my life:

1. messages and phone calls really late in the night..mostly from prank callers or people who've got the wrong fucking number.. AGAIN AND AGAIN. = really disrupted sleep/no sleep at all.
2. at some unholy hour, say...8 or 9. my mum magically happens to be awake when i need the rest = her barging into my room, making herself comfortable on my bed and proceeding to make a 1001 phone calls. mostly ones where she yells like she's trying to contact china without a phone.
3. i finally get her out and try to go back to much needed rest. but i cant.
4. she come back to ask about breakfast again again (give it maybe 5 times)
5. i proceed to give up on sleeping, get up and try to call her from the toilet (she's 1 foot away in the kitchen), because im bleeding profusely and need new undies.
6. she doesn't hear me.for 10 minutes. i give up and find a way to walk back to my room not dripping. ...my brother's tutor is here. ...she jokes about it.
7. i proceed to eat the food she's gotten for me. i spend the next half hour having explosive diarrhea and the throwing up. ... i feel worse than before.
8. i try to just do my own thing. i get nagged at to do chores and housework while being bombarded with senseless questions and statements about things that i have no control over (but apparently, its my job to fix and take care of)
9. i get into my room to try to rest again. ..construction crew is here. yippee.

and i still have class and an assignment due later.

and oh, everything else in my life seems such a bother now. coupled with my typical day and the fact that im sick. and probably pmsing.

wow Jou, wow.

so world, now i ask you: do you like making me ill and miserable; irritated and angry? or do you just hate me.

this time, im not even going to bother asking anyone to make things better for me, its mostly just more disappointment and work t clean up in the end.

if you feel it is your duty to make me feel better, just... idk, wish me well or something, i'll try not to sound ungrateful or sarcastic.

good fucking day everyone.